Audio: https://sites.google.com/site/sktdeaconed/home/mp3/150414_001.mp3?attredirects=0&d=1
Easter
time is supposed to be a time of great joy.
Of celebration. Exultation.
But
let me be so bold as to say this – it was not a time of great joy for
Peter. I can say this with some
confidence because more than any other disciple of Jesus, the Gospels provide a
window into what was going on in Peter’s mind, and in his heart.
No, it
was not a time of great joy for Peter.
More
likely, I imagine it was a time in which he felt humiliation, and shame and
despair, oh probably mixed with feelings of some joy and utter confusion over
the resurrection of the Lord. Mixed
feelings. Strong feelings. Feelings of wonder and awe at these
mysterious appearances of the Lord. But
feelings of shame at having betrayed Jesus three times. Wanting desperately to be with the Lord
again, but afraid about what the Lord might say to him. Afraid to hear “how could you betray me at my
hour of greatest need, Simon? Get behind
me, you Judas.”
Perhaps
wanting to beat Jesus to the punch and simply tell Him “Master, depart from me,
for I am a sinful man.”
This
is the condition of Peter’s mind and heart I imagine as I read and reflect on
this Gospel. Despairing of his sin. Confused about all the Lord taught and did,
about what he is to do with the rest of his life. So Peter along with some of the disciples have
returned to Galilee. He announces I am
going fishing. I’m going back to what I
know how to do. Perhaps having a
flashback to the words of the Lord – “I will make you fishers of men.”
Fishing
all night and catching nothing, this mysterious stranger calles them “children”
and tells them to try the other side of the boat, and suddenly the net is full
almost to breaking! The beloved disciple
whispers to him “It is the Lord!” Peter tucks in his garment and impulsively
jumps in the water to swim to shore, perhaps with a flashback to the other time
he was the only one to leave the boat to go to the Lord.
But now
on the shore, he approaches the Lord sheepishly and he looks down, seeing the
charcoal fire the Lord has built. His
mind flashes back to the courtyard of the high priests’ house, the night of
Jesus’ arrest, huddled in the dark and cold around a charcoal fire, and his
heart drops as the words ring out in his memory: “are you not also one of this man’s
disciples? I am not.” He winces as he remembers his own words, how
he cursed and swore and shouted “I do not even know the man.”
And
now here He is. The Man standing before him.
But
not with eyes of disdain or hatred, but with eyes of love. Welcoming eyes. Forgiving eyes. Without a word, Jesus’ mercy and forgiveness
and peace wash over Peter, and in the blink of an eye, the joy of Jesus’
resurrection wells up inside Peter.
Just
as Peter has denied the Lord three times, Jesus asks him three times: “Do you love me?” To which Peter responds three times “Yes
Lord, you know that I love you. Yes
Lord, you know that I love you. Lord,
you know everything. You know that I
love you.” Peter is healed, redeemed, restored
to friendship with the Lord. He is given
a second chance.
And
in redeeming Peter, Our Lord clears up any confusion about the mission of the
rest of his life. He is to demonstrate
his love for the Lord. “Show me,” the
Lord tells him. “Feed my lambs. Tend my sheep. Feed my sheep. You, Peter, are the new shepherd of the sheepfold. Follow me.”
In this brief moment, Peter is forgiven, restored to wholeness, and
given a new lease on life. A new mission
for His life. Which he takes up and
follows unreservedly, all the way to his own suffering and death on another
Roman cross.
My
brothers and sisters, Our Lord is speaking to me, and to you, today, in this
Gospel. He is inviting you and me to
move beyond whatever it is in our lives that we are ashamed of, that we are
humiliated by, that is holding us back from following Him unreservedly. He is inviting us to face the charcoal fires
in our own lives, and like He did with Peter, Jesus is searching for us to find
us and restore us to friendship with Him.
So that we may approach the Lord with trust in His love and mercy. And be restored to wholeness, feel His peace
and be filled with Easter joy.
Jesus
is asking you and He’s asking me “Do you love me? Do you love me more than these? Do you love me more than everything else in
your life? Will you let me, the Lord, be
the center of your life?”
And
He’s asking us to answer in truth “Yes Lord, you know that I love you?” For once we have experienced His love, and
mercy, and tenderness, how can we answer any other way?
But
Jesus is also saying to you and to me, “now show me. Show me with the rest of your life. A life of repentance of sin, a life of
change. A life lived only for me, the
Lord, in service of my lambs, my sheep. A
life lived so that all those who see you will know that you are different, that
you are my disciple, and they will glorify my Father in Heaven.”
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